So you are in the shower. Its cold as it is. You DO-Not want to shower but your hair is slick and oily. Your phone doesn’t normally attract any texts or calls. Yes you spent 30k recently thinking it’s perhaps the phone that has the issue and not you. But NO please do realize that you are not important and not “that” cool.
So oh god yes you are showering and your god forsaken phone goes “tink tink (nokia text message tone)” you get excited. Yes I have a message. Oh the curse is broken and then u leave the steamy bath to get to your phone. Panic grips. “Hmmmmm unknown number”. You smile and open the text and tada!!!!
“tujhey bhahon me le k ker lun itne kareeb tu judda ho to ata jata har pal lage kareeb”
Wah! What the hell am I supposed to do? Read this beautiful piece of shairi and appreciate? What’s wrong with people sending “pyar bharay sms”?? I have weak eyesight an absolutely ridiculously narrow grey matter existence and I am expected to go through these despicable texts. And they don’t just come when you’re in the shower. Nope. These text senders have excellent timings. Your phone will ring when you are driving on the highway, or when you are dead asleep, or when in a performance appraisal meeting with boss. Perfect timing you see.
So im thinking that Ghalib didn’t intend this did he??? Did he want these tasteless goons inflicting pain on mankind?? This stalker guy recently sent me texts that were bullets in the air.
He says, “KON HU TUM. Mere intizar ki rahat hu tum, mere dil ki chahat hu tum, tum ho to ye duniya hia, mein kaise kahun ke merey liyay kya hu tum, chalo main bataon ke kya hu tum, choo kar jo guzar jayay wo huwa hu tum, mene jo maangi wo duwa hu tum, bujhti zindagi ka doosra naam hu tum, phir kaisey kahun meri jaan hu tum. Subah bakahir.”
For the first few lines that I made myself scan this text, I thought the person was talking about BIJLI. Not the kanta laga wali bijli but LIGHT. Well… BIJLI is increasingly aur dil ki chahat no?? so I sympathized. I thought o poor person he lives in Karachi. I understand. And then he says Subah Bakhair. Its really a nice gesture but WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??? WHO CAN THINK THIS EARLY in the morning. Arghhhh its hard for me to drag my 55kg self out of the bed yar! Give me a break!!!!